It’s been awhile since I’ve last wanted to write. Normally, I write to untangle my thoughts, but they haven’t been too tangled of late. We are all moved into our new house and I am in love. I love being in the country. I love sitting on my back deck and seeing trees. I love listening to the birds singing and the peepers at night. I love that there are less people. I can hear kids laughing and see the occasional dog walker- but that is about it. We see squirrels, rabbits, and the occasional turkey or snake. 😳 This is what my soul has been yearning for the past six and a half years (minus the snakes, of course). Peace. Bliss.
While my family and I are doing well, others that I know and love are having a hard time of things, which is what has prompted this post. May is national Mental Health Awareness Month. Did you know that 1 in 5 people have some sort of mental illness? During this pandemic, I think that rate is probably significantly higher. If you, yourself, are not affected, you know someone who is. Mental illness can be caused by a variety of things; trauma, genetics, brain injury, viruses, and stress are the most common causes. None of these are things that an individual can bring on themselves. Why, then, is there such a stigma around mental health? If someone has cancer or Covid 19 or an accident or something physical happen to them, people send well wishes, casseroles, and prayers. If someone is diagnosed with a mental illness (or is struggling with mental illness), there are crickets- or worse, they are told how blessed their lives are and that there is no reason for them to be depressed or anxious or manic or whatever. All are illnesses. All are unwanted. All usually require medical help. Why the difference in how people are supported?
I am blessed. I come from a strong and amazing family. I married into the same, and my husband and I have been blessed with 3 amazing children and a life that could not be better- yet I have struggled with anxiety most of my adult life (and probably off and on throughout childhood) and was officially diagnosed with that and depression 5 years ago. At my worst, when it seemed like we could not find the right balance of meds/therapy and my life would be spent teetering on the edge of a constant panic attack, I sat on the couch and googled how many antidepressants it would take to end my life (oh, the irony, right?)- and if I had enough in my possession to do it. Those were scary times and I was lucky to have friends and family that loved and supported me. I was also lucky to have my faith. The Lord has shown me that I can put all my trust in Him, which is huge when you struggle with anxiety. I cannot tell you how good it feels to take things that would normally freak me out (you know, like living my life among other humans 🤣) and laying them at His feet- and the sense of relief that I get from that. Life is not always rainbows and sunshine, but Jesus is always walking with me- and carrying me when I can’t walk any further. Plus I’ve got my tribe. ❤️ Like I said, I am blessed.
Most people who talk with me now have no idea that I struggle with not one, but two, mental illnesses. I’m happy and feeling great about life, yet I still find myself looking for excuses to avoid social situations (now, though, I make myself go- usually-and manage the anxiety along the way). I still find myself wringing my hands in conversations or meetings, but I carry on and participate- though I usually have to find something to do with hands…like sit on them or hold something or twirl my hair like a 5 year old. 🤦♀️ I still have to remind myself that my worth is not tied into how other people view me- and I still use strategies to cope with feelings of inadequacy. Some days are easier than others. It is what it is. My point in sharing all this is that you just never know what battles someone else is facing- but you do know someone facing a daily battle with mental illness. I guarantee it. Why do I share my personal information so freely? I share it because I feel led to do my part to end the stigma surrounding mental illness. 1:5, people, 1:5.
Mental illness is affecting more and more young people. All 3 of our children have suffered from anxiety at some time or another. With our daughters, sometimes it involved social situations and feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes it involved change and panic attacks. One still finds meds helpful in managing her anxiety; the other manages on her own. They both have successful careers, solid relationships, and are happy. With Ryan, things were more involved, as he also has depression and OCD. His story involves suicidal ideation, a stint in the psych ward to get his meds straightened out, and some really dark and scary times. However, I’m proud to say that Ryan has persevered over the past three years and is now happy and thriving; he is looking forward to building a career and a life. I know a number of former students who see therapists for anxiety and other disorders- more so in recent years than ever before. There is a waiting list for child therapists, and suicide rates are climbing in children. In fact, according to Boston Children’s Hospital, it is the second leading cause of death in children from 13-19 years old…and the leading cause of death in 13 year olds. Mental illness can impact anyone at any age. Talk to your kids and let them know you are there for them, no matter what.
If YOU are struggling, please know that you are not alone. If you are feeling like the world has lost its color, please reach out to someone. If you are feeling like you are not enough, please contact friends, family, your doctor, someone and get help. There is no shame in the game. Life is too short to suffer in silence. If you have friends or family who seem to be struggling, please reach out to them and be a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. Please let them know that you will support them as they work to regain balance. Please point them to their doctor or a therapist. Offer to go with them. Offer to take their calls at all hours of the day and night. Offer to sit with them in silence. Tell them of their worth. God put all of us on this earth for a purpose. We are all doing our very best to live out that purpose. He gave us different strengths, talents, weaknesses, and personalities. All are good and of value. God doesn’t make mistakes. Let your loved ones know that.
I hope that by being vulnerable, I can continue to help others feel less alone. That is what national Mental Health Awareness Month is all about. Share your story with others because you never know when you can be a beacon of hope for those in the trenches now. To my dear friends who are struggling (or who know someone struggling), I am here for you. I have seen some dark, dark days, so I know things seem impossible right now- but the sun always rises and Jesus always has your back. Reach out to me; I’ve got you! Please help us end the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Support those in the struggle. Correct those who make erroneous assumptions about mental illness. Educate yourself. Just like someone struggling with cancer or some other awful disease, those struggling with mental illness are fighting for their lives. They deserve everyone’s love, support, and concern, too. Share your story. Share my story. Share a story. Let the world know that you will not let mental illness define anyone. Thank you from everyone fighting the fight! ❤